Coming out of my shell
09 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Anxiety, Life, Random Talks, Thoughts
Shyness has been my downfall when it comes to a lot of things I have tried to accomplish in my short existence. Not sure when or why it started (growing up I was one of the most outgoing kids on the block), but ever since my teenage years I have felt my self becoming more and more shy and quiet. A part of me feels like it’s not ME, because once you get to know me I am not shy… not shy at all… but taking the first step is what scares me, is what puts the lump in my throat and freezes me on my tracks. I have days where I try to accept my shyness and be OK with it. It is who I am and it is what makes me ME, but then other times I hate this quality about me. I want to be and feel FREE to say what’s on my mind, to be able to openly share my thoughts and feelings. There are days where I am jealous of those who are able to speak their mind and go after what they want without balls and chains holding them down… but then there are those days where I am happy with the shy me, the quiet me, the unique me. Maybe this is something everyone struggles with, maybe as we get older it becomes easier and easier to accept… but till that day, I guess I will always wonder!
DO YOU FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE SHY?
TO WISH THE GROUND WOULD SWALLOW YOU UP,
TO SOMETIMES JUST WISH YOU COULD DIE,
TO BE SO CRIPPLED WITH FEAR
YOU NEVER LIVE LIFE TO THE FULL
TO JUST SIT ALONE AND CRY AND CRY
TO ASK YOURSELF WHY?
TO ALWAYS FEEL AS IF YOUR BEING WATCHED
WHEN REALLY YOUR NOT
TO NEVER BE ABLE TO FEEL AT EASE
AND ALWAYS BE EAGER TO PLEASE
TO ALWAYS FEEL THE ‘ODD’ ONE OUT
TO ALWAYS HAVE THAT HORRIBLE SELF DOUBT.
~~~ Author Unknown ~~~
